How many times does this happen in a day? Now, how many times do you say “fine” when you’re struggling with something? Yep! Thought so.
I’m guilty of it, as with many others (glad I’m in good company). For some reason, we are afraid to voice our true feelings. Either we don’t want to bother anyone with our fears or problems, we don’t think they’ll understand, or we don’t want to appear weak. Whatever the reason, unless you have a therapist at your beck and call, you need to talk to somebody. Sure, if your boss or an acquaintance walks up to you and asks that dreaded question, it might not be appropriate to engage in a lengthy dialog. Or, if someone asks you on social media – not a good idea. I’m referring to our trusted family members, friends or clergy.
Pretending everything is okay works for awhile, but eventually whatever is causing anxiety will simmer, bubble then boil over … making it worse. If we reach out when the issue first surfaces, more times than not, it will be resolved. If not, then at least we have someone there to offer advice on where to turn. No one should struggle alone.
I’m a firm believer in the power of prayer and try diligently to “turn it over”, but I’m also a firm believer in the power of family, friends and clergy. God uses them to speak through all the time … based on personal experience a hundred times over.
Do you know what “FINE” stands for?
Saint John Damascene tells us, ““The day of the Nativity of the Mother of God is a day of universal joy because, through the Mother of God, the entire human race was renewed, and the sorrow of the first mother, Eve, was transformed into joy.”
As Christmas approaches, my heart overflows with gratitude towards the Blessed Mother because:
By Her saying, “Yes,” we have a Savior ~
By Her saying, “Yes,” we have direction ~
By Her saying, “Yes,” we know how to live righteously ~
By Her saying, “Yes,” we have hope ~
By Her saying, “Yes,” we are loved unconditionally ~
By Her saying, “Yes,” we are never alone ~
By Her saying, “Yes,” we can look forward to eternal life.
Sadly, there are many women and men who find the Christmas season difficult because they said “No” when finding themselves faced with an unexpected pregnancy.
I used to experience a deep sadness at Christmastime because it was the biggest reminder of how I failed God, my children as well as myself. I thought of my babies every time I saw baby Jesus in the manger or in the arms of the Blessed Mother. The regret was paralyzing.
If it hadn’t been for an after-abortion healing program, I would have continued to find myself saddened when viewing a nativity scene or images of the Blessed Mother with Baby Jesus and still considered myself a failure in God’s eyes. I now fully embrace Christmastime, in fact, I have a collection of nativity scenes and have statues of the Holy Family and the Blessed Mother with Baby Jesus on my fireplace.
Through healing, I came to understand that because of Mary’s “Yes,” redemption for what I considered an unforgiveable act was there for the asking. And because of God’s loving mercy, and Mary’s inspiration of faith and courage, I am able to speak out in an attempt to prevent others from saying, “No.”
“…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus” … Romans 3:23-24
If you are struggling with your decision to abort, please visit Rachel’s Hope Healing Ministry in San Diego or the Silent No More Awareness Campaign for healing resources in other locations, including internationally.
You are not alone.
We are all sinners; we are human, after all. Turning back the hands of time to reverse our words or actions is impossible. All we can do is ask for forgiveness and move forward, resolving to do better. That’s all well and good; however, how many times do we receive forgiveness from God and others yet still wallow in guilt by recounting the transgressions in our minds, over and over again? Why is it so easy to give forgiveness than to accept it?
Being an overachiever in the mistake department, I struggled with accepting forgiveness for many years, especially for my abortions. Why? Because I could not forgive myself. No matter how hard I tried to move on, I continued to browbeat myself unmercifully … hating myself for what I did to my children, isolating myself from family and friends I had hurt, and worse yet, isolating from God … feeling unworthy to be in His presence.
Through after-abortion healing and a renewed relationship with God, my faith grew leaps and bounds and relationships improved. Now, whenever tempted to dwell on past transgressions, I play a little mind game. I picture Satan with a DVD of my failings. He’s cackling and sneering while continually hitting the replay button … an evil attempt to imprison me in guilt and remorse, separating me from loved ones and distancing me from God. Seeing that image puts everything in perspective and brings a smile. I’m able to laugh and say, “You’re playing a blank disk, Satan … God and I have already hit the delete button.”